Blogs and Stories
My Sugar Daddy
Some might call it prostitution. I call it a "mutually beneficial arrangement" that pays for my killer wardrobe.
Mutually Beneficial Arrangement. That is the polite term that popular culture has coined for the type of relationship I’m in. Had one asked me if this was the sort of relationship I could see myself being involved in a few years ago, the answer would have been absolutely not.
I am a college student in suburban Pennsylvania. I grew up here, in an area called the Main Line. For those of you who have seen the movie The Philadelphia Story, you’re familiar with this nook of the country, where the blood is as blue as the sky, and the wealth as abundant. My family is composed of traditional Irish Catholic Republicans, a family in which sex and money are taboo topics that need not be discussed. But one thing my background has provided me is an invaluable tool for success: I was blessed to have been raised with class, sent to the best schools, and taught to be well-read, well-spoken, and well-traveled.
From the outside, a mutually beneficial, or sugar daddy, relationship seems immoral. Maybe even the distant cousin of—dare I say it?—prostitution.
But when I got to college, I spent the first two years straining for financial independence. I tried working, but in retail, surrounded by temptation all day, I spent more than I made. Waiting tables was exhausting. I went on several job interviews, but all of the internships were unpaid. As my years in college wore on, it was evident that the job market was sliding into decline. When the economic climate grew worse, my friends panicked that their resumes and high GPAs wouldn’t be enough to give them a leg up on the competition, and my goal became getting my foot in the door before everyone else.
And then, just such an opportunity presented itself. During my job hunt, I met a potential employer. He was in his early 30s, single, and successful. He didn’t hire me, but he did suggest a position that seemed perfectly suited to my attributes and skills: He proposed that he become my benefactor.
From the outside, a mutually beneficial, or sugar daddy, relationship seems immoral. Maybe even the distant cousin of—dare I say it?—prostitution. But truth be told, women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years.
There’s even a social networking website that connects sugar daddies and their beneficiaries. This man told me about it: SeekingArrangement.com. He had been referred to it by a close friend who was a hedge fund manager. At his urging, I logged onto the site and looked at his profile. It didn’t have a picture, for privacy reasons. But it did contain information: his marital status (single), the industry he worked in (media and communications), and—a key element—his salary (seven figures). I was encouraged by the fact that the website vets its clients and offers only Certified Sugar Daddies, whose tax returns have been carefully examined so you know what you’re getting. I also learned that he was attracted to bright, smart women—he wasn’t in the market for the dumb bombshell. His profile said he wanted more of “a Jackie Kennedy than a Marilyn Monroe.” I fit the type.
How Rich People Smoke Pot
Paul Schrodt is a writer living in New York City. He has contributed to New York magazine, Radar, and Esquire.com.
Stars Celebrate the Super Bowl
The Daily Beast is dedicated to news and commentary, culture, and entertainment. We carefully curate the web’s most essential stories and bring you original must-reads from our talented contributors.
The Sugar Daddy Replies
The writer is a college senior in Philadelphia majoring in journalism and economics, and is an intern at a public-relations firm. She hopes to work in broadcast journalism after completing a graduate degree. Melissa Beech is a pseudonym.
niccidanella
I've been there done this and used this site.
After leaving a career in broadcast news as a journalist, out of work, I was referred to the same site.
I have to say... it's a scary place to be, and the guys that use this site, a good majority of them are married even though they usually hide it from you very well.... not to mention... yes, I made the excuse that this was all fine and dandy and everyone should be doing it... but these guys have a certain disconnect from emotion..... that's really quite scary (although they always know how to say the right things - and at least make you feel like you're loved).
All I have to say is.. tread carefully... Dior and trips to Paris sound great (my mutually beneficial arrangement rented me an apartment next to Jacques Chirac in Paris for 4 months complete with chef, maid and expense account), but when he decides to throw you out.... and he will.... be ready to fall hard and almost feel as if you have to turn back to the extreme seediness of SeekingArrangement.com.
It's a scary place to be and one I don't ever want to go back to...
All I have to say is... AKA Melissa Beech... Beware.... for a hard and fast fall..... it will come... and have your family close at hand.
tludwig
In this time of family togetherness it is important to remember how close you and your distant cousin (prostitution) really are.
Yeah its like pretty women only you start out thinking your classy. The part where you mention that the credentials are harder and harder to come by, well at least it didn't go completely unnoticed but I guess the whole attaining merit only applies if you are a complete sucker, I mean stooge my fault I'm trying to invoke the negative. By the by the whole foot in the door thing, everyone knows that a dudes loves to work with the 21 year old that cost them their marriage.
The author of this segment spent his college days a satisfying older cliental in a very dignified and loving matter; until the end of course, when he was told to get the F%^k out, in a loving manner.
P.S. Tell Bill O'Riely he's full of shit
sidneyb
gag.
elsie55
5,000 a month is a pretty small amount of money, given the time you're spending in a relationship that demands so much of your time, and has no promise of becoming serious. And you've banked 12,000? Hello? This is all very low market--not that you should sell yourself to anyone for any amount of money. You need to figure out what your true value is. If you want to make money, there are thousands of legitimate ways to do it yourself. And think how great you would feel, if you were the one making that money.
coloradokarl
Yeah, Yeah,yeah........But, can she Cook??
jitterbuggie
Dont hit your head, honey, you are in the shallow end
jefcheez
News flash: You're a prostitute.
Dairylander
$5,000 a month? Heck, Ashley Dupre makes that in one night.
Melissa, you're not just a prostitue, but a cheap prostitute.
Nice rationalization, though.
bbdemaier
What a shame! while millions of women are working hard to get some respect, equality, etc, Sugar Babies like this one has a place in the news..wow!
liviapeacock
I guess all those reality shows like The Bachelor and My Super Sweet Sixteen have paid off! We now have a generation of completely awful women who will prostitute themselves for the "it bag" rather than pay their dues and know what it is like to earn their own success. Hope you're real pretty, honey, because seems like you've got no sense, dignity, or class.
Krisrid
The very fact that you feel the need to use a pseudonym to publish your story says everything that needs to be said, and belies all the rationalization you offer in this article.
Yes, it is hard to go to school and hard to work at a "regular" job, but at least when you do that, you have learned how to work for what you get and be able to be proud of how you got there, instead of having to pretend it's something other than what it is. Personally, I'll take self-respect and dignity over all the Christian Louboutins and Chanel bags in the world.
I have to wonder if the people who've given you internships and opportunities are aware of what type of "relationship" you have with your benefactor. If they do, don't be surpised if all those opportunities dry up the instant you are no longer his employee.
JeepRover
Ah, it is so nice to see that there are still whores out there with the delusions of love! Makes you think back to the days of Pretty Woman, when a whore makes good. Cheers! Oh, by the way, my guy friends are looking for a good stripper. Know anyone?
walter123
"I spent more than I made.... waiting tables was exhausting...all of the internships were unpaid...the job market was sliding into decline..."
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Intelligent and hard working people find ways to overcome life's obstacles. It's called being a grown up. Whatever connections this "benefactor" can offer will be wasted on you until you learn the value of hard work.
tb1010
I love the part about this not being prostitution because "women have used their wiles and charms to get ahead for years." Evidently the idiom "the oldest profession" is lost on her. While this certainly should be your choice, one can only imagine the implosion that occurs when it is over. After living in the middle east for several years, I recognize the "killer wardrobe" as the same self justification of the Chanel Hajab-ed girls who are willing to give up freedom for baubles. Maybe he will exchange your driver's license for a chauffeur?
j9tigger
It's unfortunate, but I expect to see "Melissa" in a future episode of any of the "Real Wives of..." shows, as she sounds addicted to the arrangement, and the financial benefit she reaps. It's nice to be a "kept woman", but at the price of your dignity?
Thank you.
As a first time user, your comment has been submitted for review. It can take anywhere from a few hours to a day or two for your comment to be reviewed, depending on the time of week and the volume of comments we receive.